it amazes me how time can fly. how Christmas can seem so far away...and then before you know it, it's only a week away!

this is my first Christmas away from home, and I do miss everyone...friends, family...the holidays are truly not the same away from the ones you love...i think if i was with everyone now, I would appreciate it so much more now than I ever have before.

but, He is sufficient. Right? for every need. every longing. every want.

i need to learn this...or rather, believe it. :).

it's crazy too, that i am already about 5 months into my 2 year term! to step back and look, once again, it's crazy how time flies!

I am having a hard time being patient. I still am not sure what my job is supposed to look like. Since my job is new, it's undefined...I know that should be freeing...because that means the sky is the limit, but sometimes it is more daunting than anything...

I'm just afraid of missing it. I came all this way. left home. family. friends. comfort. not so I could just sit around in an office all day and do nothing....but so that I could be faithful to do what He's called me to do....whatever that is....

I'm afraid of spending two years here, and coming to the end of it not having anything to show. not having led anyone to Christ...and just failing...not just the people here, and back home....but failing my God...dissapointing Him...I can't think of anything worse.

Maybe searching is just part of life. It doesn't happen overnight...figuring out your place in life...where to plug in, where your gifts God has given you will be able to be used in such a way that brings Him glory...it takes time to build relationships, make connections, find places to serve...

So, maybe more than anything, the lesson is just to wait...patiently on the Lord...waiting is certainly not a passive response to whatever is going on...because within waiting involves prayer, active listening to the Lord...and obedience when He says go.

I think Beth Moore talked about this...so i didn't come up with this on my own... :)...but, she pointed out that waiting on people, events, things, etc. is draining....so, instead we should set our hearts to wait upon the Lord...for it is Isaiah who said those that wait on the Lord will soar on wings like eagles, run and not be faint, walk, and not grow weary...

to think about the father of the prodigal son...he waited, and waited and waited for his son to come back...but, like any father, his waiting was not passive....you know, as any father would do, that he was in constant, fervent prayer...and maybe he even was constantly searching and looking for his son as well....

waiting is far different than being passive...

I know waiting is part of life. and I'm not the only one in the world that is waiting.

so, may those who are waiting set there eyes upon the Lord....trust him...it sounds so simple, but it's so hard in practice. God give us grace and the courage and the quiet obedience and trust to wait upon you.

anyway. enough of that tangent.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!